The Misadventures of the Homunculi
by TheRealGoldenGamer
Summary: The Homunculi go on a fun-filled, creative adventure.


The Misadventures of the Homunculi

By: TheRealGoldenGamer

One day all the homunculi were sitting around talking about how awesome they were. Envy was all like, "I killed Maes Hughes and I made Mustang cry. I am the best." Then Lust said, "Bitch please, I almost killed Mustang, and I'm pretty sure he killed you." It was at this remark that Envy started throwing a bitch fit and rolling around on the floor while foaming at the mouth. Gluttony, being his retarded self, asked Lust if he could eat Envy. Lust screamed "NO" so loud that it woke up Sloth who said, "Having my eardrums burst… such a pain." Wrath just sat there and chuckled at this tomfoolery. All of sudden, Pride burst in and shouted, "GUYS WE NEED TO GO OUT AND KILL EVERYONE." Wrath asked, "Why?" But Pride said, "FOR SHIGGLES, MY FRIEND. FOR SHIGGLES." The seven homunculi headed out to kill for shiggles.

As they took the elevator up to Central, Wrath told everyone to split up so that they could kill as many people as possible. When they got to the top of the elevator Lust impaled everyone in the hallway with her Ultimate Phallic Prop… I mean Ultimate Lance. Since communication in Central is so ruthlessly inept, absolutely no one heard about this slaughter, even people who were outside of the hallway the slaughter occurred in but were still able to see it didn't see it happen. At this point each of the homunculi ran in a different direction, and thus the real slaughter could begin.

Greed, still in the elevator, began to laugh maniacally. "Well Ling, it appears that I finally have you!" "What the hell are you talking about?" Said Ling, "You've been using my body for the past few… however long this series is!" "Don't try to confuse me!" Said Greed, "You're not going to avoid death!" Greed then used the Ultimate Shield on his arm and rammed his hand into his gut. "Haha! I got you Ling! You really need to work on dodging." "Greed, what the hell is wrong with you! We share the same body!" "There is no point in saying that when I've already hit you, Ling!" Said Greed. "You know what, I'm not going to say anything at this point." Ling replied. Greed then realized the error of his ways. "Oh shit!" he said, as he fell to the ground. After about 5 seconds of lying on the floor, the elevator descended back down.

Major Armstrong was going around showing everyone that he could rip off his shirt for no reason when Sloth appeared behind. Sloth began to walk towards him and said, "I'm going to kill you, and since I am going to be doing something that requires physical effort, it is going to be such a pain." Since he was saying this to Armstrong, Armstrong immediately ripped off the shirt he was wearing underneath his shirt and started flexing his muscles. Then he used his fire hose strength tears to push Sloth back to a wall. Then he began shooting the tears into Sloth's mouth. He drowned. Armstrong celebrated by putting on another shirt, ripping it off, and flexing his muscles.

Gluttony was walking around randomly looking for something to eat when he spotted May Chang. He decided that she looked "fucking delicious," so he walked behind her, picked up her Panda, and ate it like popcorn. At this point May began crying and tears and mascara were running down her cheeks. "How could you eat Shao May, you fat bastard!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "She was my appetizer, and you're the main course!" Gluttony said as he ran at her with his arms flailing like a retard. She jumped out of the way, but one of his flailing arms managed to strike her and she flew 50 feet in the other direction. Gluttony got up and started running towards May Chang, but she got up and punched him in the stomach _so hard_ that he exploded, killing him and everyone in a 2 miles radius, _especially _May Chang.

Roy Mustang was sitting in his office when he heard footsteps outside of his door. Without warning, the Ultimate Phallic Prop destroyed his door and Lust strolled in to his office. This didn't help him at all because he had already had a sandwich that day, so he just sat at his desk silently. Since Roy wasn't doing anything but staring at her tits, she decided to go on a 3,456,860-minute speech about how she was going to kill Roy and get revenge on him. After hearing this, Roy let out a laugh that sounded like a jet engine and said "Didn't I already kill you?" Lust began to stutter, but it was no use because Roy proceeded to snap his fingers and Lust died.

Scar was lounging around in a tent one day stroking his scar when all of a sudden the tent was cut in half. As he walked out of the tent he saw Wrath standing there with his sword out. "Why are you here?" Scar asked. "To kill you." Wrath responded. "But didn't I already kill you? How are you going to kill me when I already killed you?" Scar retorted. "Are you kidding?" Wrath began to scoff. "Do you think you can beat someone with a moustache as elegant as mine?" "I don't understand what you are talking about, but I will kill you." Scar said as he lunged forward and grabbed Wrath's face. However, when he tried to turn his face into KFC, nothing happened. "Do you see what I mean?" Wrath said. "My mustache will neutralize any attack that hits my face." "Well, then I'll just rip your mustache off!" Scar said as he ripped Wrath's mustache off. Blood spewed _**everywhere.**_ As Wrath was screaming Scar incinerated Wrath's face. Scar then calmly went back to stroking his scar.

Alphonse was lying on a couch thinking about thinking when a bunch of shadows made a circle around him. "What is this sorcery?" He yelled. "Why, it's me, Pride." Said…you're not going to believe this… Pride. Then the shadows began to go into Al's armor. "Pride, what are you doing?" Al shrieked. "Well, you see Al, ever since I first saw you, I've always thought that you were the sexiest thing since sex, and I always wanted to be inside you, and now I'm finally getting my chance." Pride said in a pedophile voice (If you're wondering what a pedophile voice sounds like, it's low and raspy). "Wait a minute Pride, you're way too OoC, isn't going to like this!" Al shouted. "I don't give a damn." Pride said as his shadows penetrated Al's suit of armor. "Well, you may not care, but I do!" Al said as he got up and ran into an alleyway where there was no sunlight. "No! I need sunlight to use my shadows!" Pride said in an epic case of stating the obvious. Pride got so angry that he exploded, killing him and Alphonse.

Meanwhile, back in Central, Envy has just found Edward walking around aimlessly. "Hey, Ed!" Envy yelled. "Envy? What the fuck are you doing here? How the hell are you alive?" Ed said, shocked. "That isn't your concern right now, Ed." "What, are you here to fight me?" Ed said. "No, of course not, I'm here to kill everyone." Envy said. "Just how are you going to do that?" Ed asked. "Like this." Envy said as he used his shape shifting abilities to turn into a nuclear bomb. Ed barely managed to shriek out one syllable before Envy the Nuclear Bomb exploded and killed everyone in Central.

The End.


End file.
